Someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there.
You have worn shorts and a parka at the same time.
You have either a pet or a child named "Kirby".
You have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number.
You know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, Edina and Shakopee.
A traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
"Vacation" means going up north past Brainerd for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours.
Your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March.
You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
Your whole family wears Viking purple to church on Sunday.
You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You refer to the Vikings as "we."
You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
A brat is something you eat.
You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
Every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear, and you sing, "From the land of sky-blue waters."
You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to your Minnesota friends.